{ the end? }

Lately, my body seems to be in a holding pattern. Even though I have lost 218 pounds with roughly 11 or 12 pounds to goal, I’m beginning to wonder if my body is trying to tell me it’s time to stop. Granted, I haven’t been eating perfectly or extremely strict, but even when I do I seem to fluctuate between the same few pounds.

My husband has said many times that I’ve hit goal (if I subtracted the weight of extra skin). On one hand, I believe it. My closet is full of size small and medium shirts, and size 4 or 6 pants. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought I would be wearing these sizes when I started this journey at size 6X, and 30/32W pants. On the other hand, when I look in the mirror (especially without clothes on), all those thoughts go away. I see more I need to lose, more to get rid of.

The holidays will be an issue, of course. Not a huge issue – I do plan on eating a few things I don’t normally eat. And being this close to goal, I’m okay with that, knowing that’s not my normal way of eating (and I’ll go right back on plan afterwards).

But then again, maybe it’s time to stop. Everyone I tell I still have a little over 10 pounds to goal doesn’t believe me. They say I should stop and I’m good where I’m at. After being in “weight loss” mode for almost 2 years, it’s hard to switch gears. When I eat something off plan or more carbs than usual (and maintaining), I still feel overwhelmingly guilty. Like I’m letting myself down… like I’m letting down every person that knows me, every blog reader, every social media friend. I’m not gaining weight, but it still feels like I’m not good enough. It’s going to be a really hard transition.

I still feel like I want to hit my ultimate goal, just to say that I accomplished something. Finished the race. Completed what I said I was going to complete. Is that really so wrong?

 

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4 thoughts on “{ the end? }

  1. Kathy says:

    Every journey has its end, and it sounds like you’ve reached your goal successfully. Congratulations!! 🙂

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    • Wendy says:

      Thank you Kathy!! I still say I’m not to goal, and I’ve got a little work to do after Thanksgiving 😉 (and then Christmas!!!) I really would like to HIT that goal soon, then try to coast along (which is the hard part!).

      Like

  2. joyce vought says:

    From your photos I think you look fabulous. The number on the scale is only a number…if you feel good and you are able to maintain where you are I think that you should feel MORE than accomplished. Don’t be so hard on yourself. How many other people can say that they lost that much weight and stayed with the program? You are beautiful and you should be so proud of YOU! I love your post so please keep in touch. You are a true inspiration!

    Like

    • Wendy says:

      Thank you so very much! I’m definitely not going anywhere (as far as the blog and new posts) – I have a feeling that I’m about to enter the hardest part of this journey!

      Like

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