“You must feel so good!” “Do you feel better now?”
I always say “Yes, I do” … but to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really feel bad to begin with. I suppose I was blessed I didn’t have any heath problems like diabetes or chronic pain like many other people suffer from. My knee used to hurt from time to time, and I would understandably get winded walking up the stairs to my office each day, but never any “real” problems. Granted, I never had blood work done before I began this journey as a benchmark, but I’m sure the results have gotten better because they have each time I have had labs done in the past 17 months.
I think some people assumed I must have felt horrible weighing as much as I did. And I assure you, I DID. But it was all mental. I felt bad looking in the mirror, buying clothes the size I had to buy, and never wanting to be in photos with my loving family…
I must say that my knees never hurt anymore and I’m not even slightly winded when I walk up the stairs each morning – but I am STILL and will ALWAYS be my own biggest critic and I sometimes still see my “before” in the mirror, no matter my current size. It’s still all mental. A constant mental battle. Some days are really good and mentally I do actually feel better. But I just feel better about myself on the inside. And that’s okay.